Here I am--At least I didn't give up

I didn't give up.  I'm not going to lie and say I didn't think about it though.  I stopped blogging, tracking, and just gave in to everything--I caved and decided I should be happy with the way I am no matter what size I am.  While that is somewhat true, when I stepped on the scale at 200 pounds, I didn't feel happy.  I felt defeated and weak and ashamed that all my hard work in the past went to waste.

So you want to know what brought me back?  What was my breaking point?  I went to DFW to visit some family.  My Aunt had found an old camera that she got developed and it had some old pictures of me on there--I'd say 7 years old?  I took one look at one of the pictures and decided right then and there that I was done being fat.

I took the photo--(it was of me and my Father)--I posted it on the fridge, and since I don't have a relationship with my father, I put a big magnet over the picture.  Now everytime I go to the fridge there it is.  I also put the photo on my wall paper to my cell phone.  It's important that I have that in front me at all times.

I don't expect to get that small again--I know that after having children some things just aren't realistic, but I'll get as close to it as I can.

So what's changed?  When did I start?  I started a little over a week ago.  As of today I've lost 6 pounds.  What a relief to not step on the scale and see that 200 anymore!  What have I done differently?  I stopped worrying!!!  I stopped putting pressure on myself.  I don't track what I eat, I don't track my exercise, I don't stress if I don't get exercise in.  I still follow the weight watchers diet to a point.  Weight watchers gave me a guide and showed me how to portion control and what to avoid  I really only eat when I'm hungry.  I've learned not to rely on food for when I'm bored or stressed.  Instead--I drown myself in a book--I've got a lot of reading done! 

So I don't plan on blogging everyday--only when I feel like it--when I feel inspired.  I haven't been doing any exercising, but I have been more active--and I can tell you that having 6 pounds off makes a difference!  I don't feel sluggish anymore--and I know it'll only get better and better.  I do have some work out tapes--walking with Leslie Sansone and The Firm workout tapes--that I'll be doing.

Thank you for reading and I hope you'll follow up on me.  This is what's working for me--I realized everyone is different--some people work better having to track--I do not do well with that.  As far as a goal weight?  I'd like to be at 140--we will see where this takes me.

I'm here...

It's been longer than it should be since I've updated this.

I'm embarrassed to say, but I really have gone way off track. In fact, I haven't been tracking at all. It's amazing how a couple days of doing what you want can get you off track for so long!

This is a new week though and I'm going to just nip it in the butt and start tracking again. I need to start exercising as well too and my period certainly threw me off.

So other than that I've been doing pretty well. I got the boys registered for soccer yesterday and went to a pretty Daffidoil garden in Gladewater. I had never been there and it was amazing to see the flowers grow up wild like that.


Jon has been out of town for the past..umm..3 days? I think. Yes. Hopefully he will be home late tonight. I was going to take the kids to fly a kite today but Wal-Mart had zero kites! I will have to look at Target next time I go to Longview. Instead we ended up going through all their toys and organizing their bedroom. It looks much better now and now we have lots of good toys to donate.

After that the boys played and then I decided to tackle my craft/junk closet. That is also nice and neat and organized. And now I can honestly say that almost my entire house is organized. For now. Sometimes things get to a certain point where it utterly stresses me out with all the disorganization and messiness.

I feel better now that it's taken care of. When things are organized I think it helps me with myself and hopefully from now on things will start going better for me. It's vital to my health that I get this weight off and I have to keep thinking that. If I ever want this PCOS to go away I'm going to have lose the weight.

I'll leave it at that and next time you hear from me I will be doing great on my weight loss journey! Thanks for reading!

Weigh In Day

Today is weigh in day and it's been the worst weigh in day I've had yet. I gained 2 pounds and I am now at 184.

I have to be honest, it's def my own fault. We went to Dallas this weekend for the Color Run and I ended up splurging on every meal I had. I definitely enjoyed my weekend, but I'm paying for all those calories now.

On top of that I finally started my period. I know that's TMI, but I've been dealing with Polytheistic Ovarian Syndrome for almost 3 years now. It's a hormone dissorder and I believe it has a lot to do with being over weight. As it stands, I had not had a period in 6 months. I was determined that once I started getting the weight off my periods would come back. And sure enough--they have. Now this is without taking a hormone pill to induce a period. I was having to do that, but I gave up the meds and decided I was going to just get the weight off. Now to say I'll have a cycle next month is not for certain. I don't know what's going to happen. I do have an appointment with my gyno next week to disscuss it though. I know that I"m on the right track though.

So---yes, the weight gain could be in relation to that. But I know what I did and now I'm paying for it. Today I am officially back on track. Working out however, has not been in my agenda so far this week because I am feeling so crummy.

Tonight we are having chicken fajitas for dinner. Jon is working late and Glee and Raising Hope comes on tonight so it'll be a great evening. Anyhoo, I better get going!

The Color Run was SO Fun!!

I just wanted to post quickly that I had an awesome weekend! We had tons of fun at the color run and it was so worth it!!

Next year I'll take the boys and my husband! I'm also really interested in finding local walks/runs here in East Texas!

I splurged a lot this weekend on my food and just had fun and enjoyed myself. I'm trying not to worry about the scale too much because if it's a bad result I can get it back off. :-)

I'll post some pictures and I'll update this week!

Weigh In Day!!

Sooo....today was weigh in day...and guess what? Someone's (ME) happy.


Yes! Yes! Yes! I know I'm doing something right!! Yesterday when Kim & I were in Tyler I almost had a hamburger over a healthier lower point item at Apple-bees. She stuck with the healthier option. I knew I'd end up beating myself up if I ate that hamburger. And it helped that she still stuck with it too--so I didn't chose the hamburger.

Believe it or not--there is a lot that goes through my mind when I'm faced with an option like that. I have to admit though--it gets easier and easier turning things down.

Today has been a pretty busy day today. I took BOTH dogs to the vet to finish up on there vaccinations and get them some heartworm/flea/tick monthly meds. That was fun. Remmy has to get neutered in a month! If you haven't already, I think it's VERY VERY important to get your animals spayed/neutered. I get updates from the local shelter and you wouldn't believe how many unwanted pets there are.

Okay--so off my ramble. I'm about to take Charles to basketball practice here in a few and Kim is going to take their pictures for the season! I just wanted to post a quick update! Thanks to everyone who is following my journey!!

One Step at a Time

Hello there. I hope everyone is doing well today. It's been a chilly past couple of days and I'm a bit happy about it. It means winter is finally coming and then will come Spring! Kim is going to show me how to prune my roses this week to get ready for Spring. My canas are already trying to come up because of this cold weather. I haven't decided what to plant in front of them just yet.

I've been doing really well so far as far as tracking my points. I've managed to stay on top of tracking except for yesterday. We were in town and doing some running around. I did really well except for those fries I had at Smash Burger (with my grilled chicken.)

My appointment to the RA doctor is tomorrow morning and I'm pretty excited about it. I"ll finally have a diagnosis and get some treatment (I hope.)

I borrowed the workout DVD "The Firm" from a friend and I loved it so I bought my own copy today. It's the dance one and the work outs were a lot of fun. I also tried these Smart Ones fudge cake that were 4 points and O.M.G...they were to die for!! So if you have a chocolate craving, I'd highly recommend those!

Tonight for dinner we are having Chilli. It's cold outside so I thought, why not? And it's weight watchers friendly. It's called Souper Chili.



Anyhoo--I'll let ya know how it turns out tomorrow. I hope everyone is having a great weekend and thank you for reading!

10 Pounds Lost!

So I wanted to wait and update after I weighed myself this morning but it's official I am at 184!

It was so odd because on Tuesday the scale showed 186. So I weighed yesterday morning and again today and now I'm convinced that I'm at 184n

This is a big accomplishment for me and gives me the will and determination to keep going on this journey!

So today is day at Mops where there will be lots of goodies! I made some 3 point cupcakes using strawberry cake mix and diet 7 up. My friend made so 1 point banana muffins and I'll have to ind the recipe and post it!

Anyhoo I better get going but just wanted to update. I hope everyone has a great day!